


Why me? Answer me, please...

by AkemiMiyano23



Category: Persona 5
Genre: AND OTHER SORT OF MENTAL/IDENTITY CRISIS, Brief Akechi Goro appearance, Brief Niijima Sae appearance, CAREFUL WITH EXISTENTIAL CRISIS, Gen, LET'S JUST SAY CAREFUL OF ALL CRISISES, Let's shower Ren with some love..., Please don't take this too seriously?, Protag goes by Ren, SPOILERS. SPOILERS EVERYWHERE
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-27
Updated: 2019-06-27
Packaged: 2020-05-20 19:14:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,067
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19383040
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AkemiMiyano23/pseuds/AkemiMiyano23
Summary: Prompt story. Amamiya Ren has one question that has plagued him for the longest of time, starting with the word "why". Being the little not-idiot he is, he burdens himself without telling anyone. Genius, isn't it? Thank heavens Morgana is a good friend.





	Why me? Answer me, please...

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Canvas_Ink](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Canvas_Ink/gifts).



> Prompt: why do gods answer to the protags, 2k or fewer. WELL. I **MAY** have failed to complete the prompt. To be fair, it was a bit too deep for me to comprehend/answer, and during the writing process, somehow it ended like....this thing you see here.  
>  ~~This is a mess, yes I know. I do apologize.~~
> 
> Standard disclaimer that this work is just for fun, and I gain no monetary gain, and ATLUS owns Persona and stuff(?). I don't keep track of what ATLUS owns @.@ sorry, pls don't sue me?

Why do gods answer to human beings, some people would ask. One would say they love the humans, another would say the gods needed the worship from humans. There were various answers, depending on who you ask, each different from one another. Or maybe not so different.

Should a person asked this to the leader of the Phantom Thieves of Hearts after that certain day, they would have gotten an “are you kidding me” face. Mayhap, if they asked _before_ it, they’d gotten a long pause from him with no conclusive answer.

One Amamiya Ren hadn’t been particularly religious, but he still did his religious activities. One of which included praying in temples (which, for _some_ reason, made his Confidants more open to him). He believed that the gods gave humans free will for a purpose, that is for man to shape their own future. The young man firmly believed it. However, one thought plagued him since April.

_‘Why me?_ ’

Ren looked back to his past. Before the false assault charge.

He wasn’t an idiot, but he wasn’t the brightest either. He was just an average boy, living in an average family of four. His parents worked at odd jobs just to make ends meet, but they were happy. Little Ren even liked to think that they were blessed.

Then _that_ happened. And little Ren was alone.

Amamiya Ren wasn’t a genius, but he wasn’t an idiot. He knew he would never meet his brother again. Nor his father. He felt numb. Every night, he heard the muffled sounds from his mother’s bedroom. Every morning, he watched her giving him a strained smile.

Little Ren went to the local shrine in the edge of town, praying more diligently than he ever did before.

But there was no answer.

Ren liked to think the gods still blessed his broken family. He really liked to think so.

His mother still told him to be good, so the gods would keep blessing them. Deep in his subconscious, he wondered if the gods really did answer the prayers of a mortal man. As he grew up he wondered. Even as he spent the night in the juvenile hall, heart aching and lightheaded, he wondered.

* * *

“Joker, you’re still awake.”

Ren looked down to the foot of his bed. A pair of feline blue eyes stared back at him. He sighed and averted his eyes, “Sorry, Morgana.”

The cat perked his ears, padding over to his side. “…Ren, what’s wrong?” He poked his human companion in his side with his toes. “It’s rare you’re this submissive about sleep.”

Ren gulped. A shuddered breath escape his lips. He heard his own heart pounding. “...Can I ask you something, Morgana?”

“Of course, Ren!”

“…Why me?”

“Huh?”

“Why me?” Ren repeated, louder. It rang in his ears, prodding at his insecurities. “Why choose me?” _Why did I, of all people in Japan, get the MetaNav?_

The tuxedo cat swished his tail sideway, humming thoughtfully. He poked the human again. “Why are you asking this now, Ren?”

He knew then he shouldn’t have asked. “…Never mind, Morgana, good night.”

“…Good night.” He felt Morgana’s paws moving closer to him. A long pause. “…I don’t know what or who gave you that app, or why. What I know for sure is that if you didn’t get it when you do, I wouldn’t be here with you. Lady Ann would still be in that scum’s reach, and Ryuji and Yusuke’s lives would still be as bad as they were.” A warmth pressed itself to his side. “I’m really glad, Ren.”

Joker—no, Amamiya Ren mouthed “me too” to the dark room, a drop of liquid splashing on the bedcover.

* * *

Human curiosity is boundless. As a curious young man he is, Ren couldn’t help but wonder and question everything he could. Of course, most of it are internalized, but it pestered him at certain points of his life. Some times, he wished he wasn’t the leader if only to openly ask his teammates—his _friends_ on what they thought.

It was why it broke his heart when his throat locked right after telling him it wasn’t too late. It was why it shattered into tiny pieces when Crow screamed madly at him, “HOW CAN SUCH A WORTHLESS PIECE OF TRASH BE MORE SPECIAL THAN ME!?”

The Ren under Joker was crying while they fought. One to aiming to kill, the other aiming to incapacitate. That part of him cried, ‘ _I don’t know, I don’t know, I DON’T KNOW!’_

When the blast doors closed on him, he asked the gods yet again.

_‘Why me?_ ’

But the Phantom Thieves needed him, and thus all that escaped his lips was a solemn, “Let’s go.”

Deep inside, there was a long, broken wail of _’why me, of all people?’_

But no gods nor demons answered him.

His many personas attempted to soothe him, but it was all for naught, for there was no answer to soothe this pain.

* * *

Before “Igor” revealed himself, he had asked several times, “Why me?” The only things it earned him were Caroline’s electric baton nearly smashing his fingers (he still shuddered when he thought about it), and “Igor” chuckling deeply. He then proceeded to ignore the question and ambiguously talked about destiny, rehabilitation, and so on. It honestly went through his head with how ambiguous it could get.

He would _never_ tell Caroline that. Amamiya Ren didn’t have death wish. That electric baton and guillotines look _nasty_. Nope, not going there. He’d like to keep his head attached to his body with a neck, thank you very much.

When “Igor” revealed himself, he asked the imposter. The usual vague spiel came out of his false mouth. Part of him hesitated when the god offered him a deal. Lavenza (he’s really trying not to think how the twins were once one) warned him against it.

Heart still burning over Crow’s death and what the Grail had done in the Depths, he refused. The Grail’s avatar left with a scoff at him. He more felt than saw Lavenza’s approving smile at him.

Then he met the real Igor.

Dear gods, it was so weird to hear high registers befitting of an old man from that weird, long-nosed, wide-eyed person. Still, his relief over seeing his friends drowned the weirdness of the ordeal in the Velvet Room. He felt like he was whole again.

(He pointedly ignored the hole that belonged to a could-have-been-friend).

He asked the same question. And as was normal for him, there was no answer to be found.

Given that they were short on time, he couldn’t blame anyone.

* * *

He regretted that he couldn’t ask Morgana the honest question that had been plaguing him. When he saw Sae approaching him that evening, his heart plummeted. Ren knew not to get his hopes up. He had seen it coming. He listened to what she had to say nonetheless.

“One day,” the young man—boy answered. “Give me one day.” She opened her mouth. “Please,” he interjected.

They both knew of his desperation. “Just one day,” she parroted.

“Thank you, Niijima-san.”

He spent the early evening with his first true friend, sharing warm coffee and soda, and laughs, venturing the memory lanes.

He spent the late evening leaving behind an undelivered letter with just two words before curling up under the blanket.

* * *

He might have seen it coming, but it doesn’t make his stay in the juvie any easier. At least staying away from the more unsavory individuals is easier now that he’s in solitary confinement. That night, he sees blue and he knows what’s coming. He smiles shyly when Igor praises him, congratulating him for completing his journey.

As Igor says that it is time for them to depart, the boy reaches toward him without thinking. The benevolent person-being tilts his head, his grin softening, “What is it, my boy?” he asks.

Said boy closes his eyes, taking a deep breath. It has been long enough, and he had regrets. He doesn’t want to have more regrets concerning this. “Why me?” he braves himself to ask.

Lavenza looks at him, her golden eyes softening. “Oh my Trickster, has the thought plague you so?” she asks, her tone among the warmest he has heard this year.

He swallows, looking down meekly, his heart thundering in his chest.

Igor raises his spidery hand. “At ease, my boy. Why don’t you take a seat?” He turns his head slightly. “Lavenza, my dear?”

The attendant bows. “Of course, Master.” She places the compendium on the table and walks behind the Trickster. “Please, take a seat, Trickster,” she says, pushing a chair borne of thin air for the boy to sit. Said boy gingerly sits.

The master of the Velvet Room folds his hands together. “Now, to answer your question, my dear guest, is no easy matter. Fate works in mysterious ways, some times beyond our comprehension.” The boy looks down dejectedly. “But know this—nothing meaningless happens in the Velvet Room.”

He looks up. “Does that mean…?”

Igor gives him the fondest smile he could (which isn’t that much different). “Perhaps, you will find the answer. Lavenza, if you will…”

Lavenza bows. “Yes, Master.” She turns to face the young man, her golden eyes proud and loving. “With this, we grant you the World arcana…”

* * *

Amamiya Ren whispers to the attic, “I’m home.”

His feline companion smiles fondly at him, “Welcome home, Ren.”

“It’s good to see you again, Morgana.”

Morgana grins as best as a cat could, nodding in approval. “And you, leader.” The cat swishes his tail. “Before you sleep, why don’t you check your desk?” He hops off the bed, trotting to the stairs.

Ren looks to the desk, finding a folded piece of paper. Curious, he walks to it, sitting and unfolding the paper to find scrawls of various handwriting.

* * *

Sakura Sojiro looks up from the big pot of curry he’s been stirring when he heard the pitter patter of cat feet. “You’re not going to stay with the kid?” he asks the feline. The cat hops to the seat. At this point, Sojiro knows better than tell the cat to hop off. And the shop is closed anyway.

Morgana meows at him from the booth seat.

Sojiro shakes his head fondly. “You know, some times I kind wish I could understand what you’re saying. But then I remember the whines—“

“MMREOWR!”

“—and stop wanting to know,” the man grinned.

“…Mrrowwr…”

“…Don’t you dare pout at me.”

“…”

“It’s not going to work, you know.”

“…meow.”

“…Fine. Here’s yours.”

“Meeeowww~”

“I sure hope that’s a thank I hear.”

“…”

“…”

“…”

“…You think the kid’s gonna be alright?”

The cat pauses, looking like he’s contemplating his answer. And let out a series of reassuring-sounding meows.

Sojiro sighs, taking a plate and filling it with rice. “Oi, kid! Get down here for some dinner, you hear?”

“…Yes, Boss!” Ren answers, walking down the stairs. He sits on the booth, and a plateful of curry is served. The young man inhales the savory scent, letting out an appreciative sigh. “You won’t believe how much I missed this!”

Sojiro grins. _‘Welcome home, Ren.’_

* * *

> Err. I’m no good with this. Maybe coz they’re geezers. Eh. Whatever. You’re my best bud. This is really cheesy, so let’s forget this, ‘kay, Ren?
> 
> Ren, I’m really happy we met. I’d thank you a 1,000 times over!
> 
> Indeed, we are now friends, and I wouldn’t have it any other way. This is difficult. Perhaps I shall express it in painting some time.
> 
> This year is among the best years of my life. Most of all, Sis and I are close again. Thank you, Ren.
> 
> You’re my key item. K-E-Y I-T-E-M. Got it? Make a promise list and I’ll race you.
> 
> Ren. In spite of everything that has happened, you’re one of the best friends to ever happen to me. Perhaps I should treat you with my homebrewed coffee to make you see it? It’s a challenge then!

* * *

_You asked, and for the longest of time, you didn’t know. The fate and deities work in mysterious ways, beyond human comprehension._

_Mayhap we will never know why the gods had answered your calling._

_Perhaps it was because you answered yours?_

_We’d like to think so, and they—your friends—are their answer._

_You’re now friends, walking together toward the days to come._

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> Phew. At last this is over. I hope. @.@  
> I quoted Crow's dialogue bit. But the other parts are...erm. Well. You might not even find it anywhere in the game/anime/manga.  
> This is my interpretation of Ren. And I may or may not be projecting myself into him.  
>  **RIP CHARACTERIZATION**
> 
> AND AO3 HATES MY WRITING, I SWEAR. The formating might get messed up, and I can't figure out why. RIP me.
> 
> I'm open for short prompts like this. Whether or not I fulfill them.. Well.... That's up for debate  
>  _Flees_


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